Love Sucks
by mei mei-san
Summary: New Jersey is just like every other state with a task: to find the one she loves. She's already in love with someone but they don't love her back. With problems in the family hers is considered the worst. Warnings inside!


A/N: anything with a star will be clarified in the end! And I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers. I simply own these states! Also the actual warnings are:  
>strong language<br>sexual themes (later on)  
>and I do not want to spoil the last one so I'll say "family problems"<p>

My name: Amy P. Jones, the state of New Jersey, the Province of New Jersey. Call me anything you want but there's only one job that I share with my siblings: find someone to love. But I have a special job too, that is to protect both New York and Pennsylvania. I can tell you that my life is hard being the eldest daughter.

I walked into the school building with my normal outfit: Jean jacket with a white tank top underneath and a blue plaid skirt. I had my flats on today and my hair was up in a high ponytail. I knew what today was: the day we go back to school.

China walked up to me "Ni hao –aru!" I smiled back as a greeting. "So it's a new year –aru! And I heard from your baba that this is the year you and the other colonies must find your love –aru!" I looked down at the ground. China was one of my best friends and he even taught me a bit of Chinese!*

"China…I know who I'm in love with but he doesn't love me back" we were in a pure Chinese conversation since I didn't want too many people to know.

He stepped in front of me with hands on his hips "Amy don't talk like that -aru! How do you know he doesn't love you back -aru? Who wouldn't love you back -aru?" His face was serious and his tone was strict and fierce. "Tell me how you know -aru!"

I was glaring at him "I do okay? Look I need to get to class!" I pushed past him and walked down the hall. I hate how I treated him right then and there but I'm not in the greatest of moods today knowing that this will be the year I have to get i_him_/i. I stepped out into the school garden and threw my bag next to a bench and sat down. "Fucking hell" I whispered into thin air picking up a leaf and ripping it apart. Someone walked out to the garden "who's there?"

China sat next to me "I know where to find you –aru" he sighed, knowing I won't get up for a long while. "You know…I bet he does love you, but you just don't see it –aru" I remember how China says all the advice he gives me are from personal experience and his younger siblings experiences.

I picked up a notebook and ripped a page out. It's nice to know where my little school money* is going, right? "How about you make this into like a paper heart so I can show what mine is like?" China took the piece of paper from me and started folding it and handed it back. "Now then"

I started ripping it until China took it from my grasp. "Here –aru!" He took some tape outta his bag and started tapping it together again. "I told you I would fix everything for you –aru!" I remember that day, when we were in elementary school and I said I broke a crayon.

"_Y-yao" second grader New Jersey tears threatening to stream down her face ran up to her new best friend. "I broke my favorite crayon!" She held up the blue colored crayon to her friend's face. "Now I won't be able to finish making my flag for daddy!"_

_Being much more mature than the young state, second grader China took out some tape and fixed his friend's crayon. "There you go –aru!" The little girl smiled widely and hugged him. He laughed a little, hugging her back. "I promise to fix everything for you –aru. No matter what it is, okay –aru?"_

_The young girl nodded, stepping away from the hug. "Thank you!" She held out her pinky "pinky promise?" the boy nodded and conjoined pinkies with his best friend and smiled. "Then it's a promise! You'll be my hero from now on!"_

I smiled and put my head on his shoulder "Wang Yao if I wasn't in love with someone else and you weren't in love with someone else I'd marry you in a heartbeat" It's true if I wasn't in love with someone and China wasn't I know we'd fall for each other. But China is my best friend and it'd be very awkward to kiss him.

He smiled "yeah I know –aru" I lightly hit his arm "oh come on it is true –aru!" He sighed and pushed me off him "you know what –aru? I'm going to make sure that he will love you back –aru!"

I stood up, finally deciding to make some effort to find my first class. In fact I might just roam the halls and chill in my secret place. "No thanks, China. This is my problem and I must do this myself….with lots and lots of help!" He laughed a little "and now I shall leave and maybe participate in school…" I walked outta the garden and back into the school.

I walked around the halls, passing the class I was supposed to be in. In fact, I waved to the people in there! I walked into the darker places of the school, with the bad people there. I walked to the last corner of the school, it was almost pitch black. I sat down and I could feel the tears running down my eyes. I went in my bag looking for _it_ "god damn it all where is it?" I found it, my one thing that makes me feel good. My knife. I lifted up my sleeve and put the knife to my wrist. If you could see it there were many scabs, but no scars. Dad says I never end up with scars, which he's right about. I've been beaten up, stabbed, and scratched enough times to have scars all over my body. But not one. I slid the knife and felt the pain. I hated it but I can't stop this. I hate pain but I use the physical pain to get rid of the emotional pain.

I heard footsteps so I pulled down my jacket sleeve and put the knife in my bag. "New Jersey? Are you over here?" I knew that voice. It was Gilbert's voice.

I stood up and fixed myself. "Yeah over here, Gil!" I stepped outta the dark corner and smiled at Gilbert. He wasn't the brightest of people but he was a friend of mine. "I just needed to clear my head"

He smiled at me. "Well I just wanted to look for you to see where you'll be sitting at lunch this year!" Of course every year Gil tries to get me to sit with him and I tell him the same thing. He and I are good friends but I don't like i_some_/i of the people he sits with. More specifically one person.

I sighed and mumbled something to myself. I don't even know what I mumbled. "Gil, every year I tell you the same thing! I don't wanna see Spain's face, okay?" I pushed past him and walked to class. I don't mind treating him this way.


End file.
